Life in the Big Apple
by Twinkle Fairy
Summary: Heathcliff and Edgar get transported to the future after being seen by Cathy, the younger. They're now in a world full of evil copiers, elevators, biker gangs, and maise, how will they ever survive?
1. Walking Dead

Chapter 1: Walking Dead

Hareton was sitting by the fire when all of a sudden he heard a high pitched screech. "Hareton! Good Lord! I…I…" Cathy came bursting in, look disheveled. Her hair resembled a large bird's nest, full of leaves and twigs, while her face was smudged with mud.

"What the devil is going on, Cathy? Spit it out!" Hareton demanded of his newlywed wife.

"I was strolling through the moors when I saw…saw…"

"Saw what, dammit!" Hareton was getting a little nervous from the tension and fear radiating from Cathy.

"I saw Heathcliff and my father!"

"What! Their dead! How is it possible for their dead bodies to be walking in the moors! Furthermore, what in God's name were you doing out in the moors by yourself? I thought you were going into town."

"Well, I was going to town, but I forgot my basket. As I was hurrying back, I decided to stop by at Thrushcross Grange to see my old home. Before I reached the garden I heard two voices babbling. I went to investigate because I thought I heard my father's voice but I couldn't see due to the thick mist; I snuck closer to the two familiar voices. To my disbelief I found that the voices belonged to my dead father and uncle. They both looked at me with horror; I've never seen my father look so frightened and sad, except when he found out that I had been visiting Linton at Wuthering Heights so many years ago. 'Cathy…' Edgar started. I let out a loud scream and ran all the way here."

"What the Hell are you talking about? Do you think it's funny? I was so worried about you, you were gone the whole day and I was about to send Joseph after you only to find you charging into the room talking nonsense!! Heathcliff was like a father to me, and its despicable for you to dishonor his name in such a way." Hareton's voice had been getting louder, and he was now standing looking defensive.

"Does it look like I'm lying!! Besides I saw my father as well, it hurts me as much as it hurts you!" Cathy countered, while slamming her fists onto the table. Sighing, Hareton crept over to his crying wife's side and comforted her tears.

Meanwhile, on the moors…

"Edgar! We were seen by your foolish daughter! Do you realize how much trouble we are going to get into? It's your entire fault!" Heathcliff shouted in disgrace while holding up his hands in a threatening gesture. His black eyes narrowed, shooting fiery hate towards the fragile blonde before him.

"My fault? You were screaming at me." Edgar replied meekly, his eyes shifting nervously around the haze surrounding them. "Besides maybe she will think it was a trick of the light."

"A trick of the light? A trick of the LIGHT?" Heathcliff shouted slamming his fist into a nearby tree, "There is no damn light on the damn moors, you dolt. Face it, we're going to Hell now!" Heathcliff's translucent face was now flushed red with anger.

"I don't want to go to Hell!" Edgar cried, holding his face in his hands. His weak body was crumpled on the ground, his shoulders shaking; Heathcliff felt no sympathy for the man crying at his feet.

"Pull yourself together, dammit! I don't want to spend the rest of my miserable after life with a blundering idiot, especially now that we're going to Hell." Heathcliff tormented Edgar, enunciating the word Hell.

"Noooooooo!" Edgar screamed in agony.

"Shut up, fools!" a harsh, booming voice interjected. Edgar and Heathcliff whipped their heads toward the authoritative tone, only to find that it was a seven-year-old girl. She had long flowing red hair with crimson eyes to match; she was wearing a frilly pink dress and was holding a bunny rabbit that was missing both of its eyes and one ear. "Your babbling has disturbed the spirits. Not only have you awakened the resting dead, but you woke me up from my afternoon nap. I also have reason to believe that you were seen by a human, a living human--"

"Who the hell are you?" Heathcliff interrupted.

"I am Death's Sister, and if I feel the need, I will send big brother after you." She responded sweetly batting her eyes while giving a stomach-lurching grin, all the while creeping closer to the two men.

"No! We are so sorry! He didn't mean that!!" Edgar cried as he launched to grovel at her feet.

"Get off me, you swine!" She kicked at poor Edgar who writhed in pain on the dewy grass.

"My turn!" Heathcliff laughed and kicked Edgar in the ribs, causing Edgar to cry out.

"Stop, please! You're hurting me!" Edgar cautiously stood up, trembling. He wiped away tears that had slipped out from under his eyelids

"Yes, do stop, Heathcliff. He is clearly not worth it." The apparition droned, she looked bored as she glanced up at Heathcliff's menacing body.

"Finally, someone who understands me." Heathcliff smiled, looking more pleasant than he had in years.

"Yeah, well don't look so happy, you're not so worthy of my affections either." Heathcliff stopped laughing as the little monster gave him a death glare. "In fact, I am disgusted by both of you. Every spirit knows that they are not to be seen by a living human. You two have broken the golden rule; you two must be punished. Since you two clearly hate each other, you will be forced to live with each other in the century that is feared by all spirits: the 21st Century."

Death's Sister was now looking expectantly at the distance as storm clouds approached. Heathcliff and Edgar could hear thunder booming. Suddenly a lightning bolt scorched the earth where the little girl once stood. In her place now stood an ultra-hot bikini babe from centuries ahead holding a magic staff. Edgar averted his eyes and started to walk slowly away, blushing. Heathcliff, on the other hand, had to try with all his might not to touch her. "Time for you punishment." The hot model spoke with a velvety voice. She raised the staff above her head and threw it at the two awe-struck men. As they touched it, the model slowly transformed into the little girl once again, laughing maliciously the entire time. Heathcliff and Edgar, after catching the staff, fell into blackness.

A/N: Hi guys thanks so much for reading!! This is my first story and I would appreciate it very very much if you wrote a review!! BTW... I don't own Wuthering Heights...


	2. Edgar's Troubles

A/N: Hello this is my first fic!! Thank you so much for reading, and I hope you enjoy chapter 2, involving Edgar's various troubles. P.S. Thanks you so much for reviewing EgnimaticNightAngel!! So enough of my babbling... enjoy chapter 2!! :)

...

Chapter Two: Edgar's troubles

Edgar and Heathcliff woke up in utter confusion.

"Was that a dream?" Edgar asked in stupefied sleepiness.

"Did you see the lass wearing practically nothing, waving that stupid stick around?"

"Yes actually I did, it was horrible!!"

"Damn it wasn't a dream, so this is 21st century," Heathcliff remarked looking around the room, "what a farce!"

"This isn't so bad," Edgar agreed acknowledging the floral wallpaper and the comfy bedding he was sitting in. Heathcliff nodded and stood up to leave. "Where are you going?" Edgar asked with earnest.

"To see how bad the 21st century really is." Heathcliff snapped, throwing the door to the apartment open then slamming it in Edgar's face.

"Alright then I'll just be in the room, all by myself, in a strange and unusual place… WAIT!" Edgar dashed out of the room only to find that Heathcliff left him alone. Sad and alone Edgar crept down the long hallway, towards a small, enclosed carpeted cavity occupied by a woman wearing blue, pushing a cart full of sheets. Nodding in greeting, he watched as she pushed one of the buttons on the wall. Suddenly large metal slabs barricaded the only exit out of the room.

"Something's wrong, this shouldn't be happening!!" Edgar sputtered grabbing hold of the woman's arms. She shrugged him off backing away, pulling out of her pocket a can that was labeled, 'MAISE: For Emergencies Only.' Edgar oblivious to what she was holding, turned back to the doorway and started to pound on the metal sheets. "Help! Get me out of here!" Edgar, still pounding on the doors, turned his head to the woman "I'm stuck here with an evil witch! Help me!"

"Excuse me?" The woman boomed in disgust. "What did you just call me?"

"A- a witch?" He responded meekly, realizing just now, how much larger the woman was then he.

"Oh yeah? Well here's some potion!" She sprayed the entire can into poor Edgar's eyes.

Meanwhile, in the hotel lobby…

"This is absolutely delicious. I have never had these before. From where I'm from we eat gruel and more gruel. The dogs like to eat gruel, but I don't." Heathcliff was enjoying some 21st Century bagels. The country folk he was talking to nodded in sarcastic enjoyment.

"Waill, ah 'ope ya git sahm moe of that foe ya trip 'ome." One man said, before rolling his eyes.

"I'm sorry, did you just show some disrespect? Because I have a daughter-in-law at home who shows disrespect. Did I say it was okay to talk to me? Did I? No. And did you just roll you're eyes at me, swine?" Heathcliff leaned back in his chair, stuffing more bagels in his mouth.

"Mah pa's no swine." A child of no more than three retorted.

"Shut it, chile, this is pa's bizniss." The man snapped at the kid. He turned back to Heathcliff. "So what iff ah talked tah ya? Man, ya dahn't know who ya missin with."

"Oh, don't I?"

"Go, pa, go!" The inkling cheered.

"Aright sonny boy. Watch yer daddy kick sum sissy butt." The overweight man stood up, his chair creaking in agony. Heathcliff gave a look of amusement as he ate the last bit of his bagel and stood lazily, looming over the fat Texan.

"'Sissy Butt' I don't quite know what you're talking about, but I can guess." Heathcliff smirked, "Be afraid, swine." He grabbed the Texan by the collar and was about to land a punch when suddenly he heard a loud girlish screech echoing down the breakfast hall.

"Omygosh! The floor is moving! My eyes sting! I am in so much pain!! AAAAAAHHHHHH!!" All heads turned towards the noise.

"Is that thah elivater, pa?" The little boy asked. The unfortunate man was too frightened to respond with words, so he tried to nod instead.

Suddenly the elevator doors flew open and Edgar stumbled out of the small chamber clutching his head and screaming like a banshee. He fell to the floor and a woman pushing a cart strutted out of the same chamber pushing a cart over the fallen Edgar's legs. "Ouch!" Edgar shouted as he struggled to stand. He opened his eyes, which were now red and teary, "Heathcliff? Is that you?" Edgar squinted down the hallway.

"No, it isn't." drawled Heathcliff. He turned back to the man he was still holding. "Today is your lucky day." Heathcliff whispered as he threw down the seized man and briskly strode out of the hotel.


	3. Heathcliff's Troubles

I'd tell you that I'm author of the most amazing love stories of all time, but that would be a lie... But I'm not lying when I say I love reviews!! grins Okay I'm being too obvious, well thanks for reading!

Chapter Three: Heathcliff's troubles

Heathcliff hurried out threw the revolving doors leaving poor Edgar struggling to make his way across the hotel lobby, limping around the many people still eating breakfast. "Heathcliff, stop! Don't leave me, you dark-skinned gypsy!" exclaimed Edgar as he passed three angry fortunetellers who gave him dirty looks. Little did Edgar know, the gypsies were throwing evil hexes at his back.

Heathcliff, on the other hand, was far too distracted to hear Edgar's pitiful cries and insults, for outside the hotel lied a world much different that his own. For one thing, it was much, much louder. People were screaming across the street to one another and some were giving obscene gestures. Many people appeared to be talking to themselves with their hands up to their ear, holding a small silver device. Metal carriages on four wheels drove by themselves, without horses, down a busy, paved street. Suddenly Heathcliff was shoved.

"Move it or lose it, buddy!" A greasy man shouted at him carrying five boxes smelling strongly of food. Heathcliff turned and was about to yell, but suddenly froze. To his horror, he was surrounded by hundreds people hustling and bustling their way to work. Heathcliff was completely lost and confused, a strange and new feeling for him. He had nowhere to go except to follow the crowd.

Heathcliff was being pushed and shoved all the way up to a building marked the 'Empire State Building, the tallest in the nation'. At this point, Heathcliff was no longer confused, but annoyed. Before him, lied an even bigger lobby than at the hotel. He went up to the service desk.

"Excuse me, could you please point me in the direction where there's going to be the fewest people?"

The woman looked up from her romance novel with sleepy eyes. "Try the stairwell, honey," she droned, pointing behind her. Heathcliff walked around the service desk and opened the door labeled 'Staircase.' He opened the door and looked up.

"Dear God," Heathcliff whispered to himself, it was the highest staircase he'd ever seen. He cracked his knuckles and neck, did some leg stretches and started jogging up, taking the stairs two by two.

After thirty minutes of hard exercise, Heathcliff decided to take a break and opened a door that was unlabeled. He strutted in and found himself surrounded by bald men wearing glasses making clickety-clack noises with their moving fingers staring at screens in front of their faces. An old man shuffled over to him, with great speed.

"Hello, you must be Frederick Johnson, the newly hired employee. Please follow me." The little old man led Heathcliff to the center of a large maze and directed him into a small cubicle. "Here is your new office. You will find by the computer, paperwork that needs copying. The copiers are at the end of the hall, behind the glass doors, around the refrigerator, past the bathrooms and in the janitor's closet." The old man left Heathcliff stranded in a sea of paperwork and nerdy men.

"Computer? Copier? Refrigerator? What are these strange words?" Heathcliff, for the second time that day, was absolutely dumbfounded. He managed to find the paperwork, now all he had to do was find the "copier."

After asking for directions many times, he finally came upon a large machine in the dark closet. He shut the door behind him when suddenly the machine sprang to life. The white luminescent light burned out his eyes and he heard a sound resembling an axe chopping.

"What the bloody Hell!?" He exclaimed, grabbing a nearby broom and jabbing the machine in its "mouth." He ripped off the cover and started breaking the glass, sparks flying all around the room. The light went out and he was left beating the beast in darkness until the door opened and the old man who had given him the job shrieked out in utter agony,

"That cost six pay-cuts! Three thousand dollars gone to waste, you fool! That's it; you're out!" The old man's face was crimson red as he called for security. Four men came in ripped an angry Heathcliff from the machine's carcass. Heathcliff kicked and punched, to no avail.

"What is all this commotion?" A familiar wimpy voice called from the doorway.

"No…Please, oh God, NO!!" Heathcliff shuddered in disgust. To his dismay, a blonde, curly head popped out from behind the door.

"Heathcliff! It's you! I found you!" Edgar beamed, delightedly. Heathcliff, with more motivation than ever before, escaped the strong hold of the security guards, with his hands tied behind his back, and sprinted out and into the maze of workers.

"Move out of the way!" Heathcliff screamed as he shouldered his way out. Bodies flew and papers rained down. "Where's the exit! Get me out of here!" He could hear Edgar's light footsteps prancing after him. Heathcliff ran faster, only to reach a dead end. He was trapped; there was nowhere to go.

"Heathcliff! Come out, come out, wherever you are!" Edgar popped out from around the corner. Heathcliff couldn't move, his hands were still tied behind him.

"Security! Come get me! I'm over here!" Heathcliff screamed, trying to get away from the bubbly Edgar.

"Heathcliff. Listen to me. I know you don't like me, and I certainly don't like you, but if we're going to get out of this strange world, we have to work together." Pleaded Edgar. Suddenly, to Heathcliff's relief, twelve security guards turned the corner and seized him.

"Fat chance." Heathcliff sputtered at Edgar as the men marched out, feeling victorious for capturing the wild man.

Heathcliff was escorted out of the building, leaving a star-struck Edgar to help clean up the mess on the top floor of the huge building.


	4. Familiar Faces

O.K. So this is the last chapter!! Thanks so much to everyone who's been reading!! I hope you liked it, and I really, really appreciate reviews!! Oh and I don't own Wuthering Heights :(

Chapter Four: Familiar Faces

After a long day in the office, Edgar slumped out of the building with his new office buddies. "I'm exhausted" Herbert complained in a nasally voice.

"You and me both, what do ya think, everyone's cheery and happy all the time? Well get real, dumbass!" retorted bucktoothed David. "Don't you agree, Ed?"

"I prefer to be called, Edgar, actually, and I think that everyone has the right to be happy all the time!" At this point Edgar was beyond tired thus the incredibly stupid remarks.

"Okay then, lets go, we have to catch the 10:15 subway." Herbert indicated, leading the way to the nearest underground station.

As soon as they were situated at the back of the subway tram, the three men began talking. "So where are you from?" Herbert asked politely.

"Thrushcross Grange, by the moors in the United Kingdom." Edgar replied feeling a sudden pang of depression.

"Seriously?" said Herbert, "You sound like a character from one of Catherine Earnshaw's movies, come to think of it there was a guy named Edgar in the movie as well."

"Excuse me… do you mind explaining, good fellow?"

"Jolly good, matey, pass me the crumpets, good fellow, we can have a tea party! Are you kidding me! What the hell is up with you, you're acting like you're from the 18th Century." David mocked dancing around in the small train with a singsong voice.

"Stop it! He looks like an abandoned puppy… He _needs_ us!" Herbert declared. "Okay Edgar, this is the story of Catherine Earnshaw's super successful career," Herbert began the story, while David looked on in defeat. "So, now she's living it big right here in New York! Isn't it great?"

"All this time! Catherine, my love, I am coming!" Without further ado, Edgar hopped of the subway alone.

"What the Hell? No! Edgar! This isn't our stop!" David called out of the window at the departing Edgar.

"This is the Lower East Side of town, David. Do you think he's gonna be alright?" Herbert looked at David, hopefully.

"Honestly? No, Herb. He doesn't stand a chance of surviving."

Meanwhile, in one of NYC back alleys…

Heathcliff sat surrounded by his new pals, the biker gang. Chains and leather flashed all around him, while the sound of revving engines echoed across the empty courtyard. "This is the life," one of the bikers growled clutching a beer. "Why so down, Heath bar? You're free, man! Take your freedom and go out there and live!"

"Yeah, yeah, easy for you to say, Pops," Heathcliff responded taking a drag from a cigarette. Suddenly a high pitched wail came the subway station underneath them.

"What the devil was that, Pops?" asked a skinny leather clad man who calls himself Phatso.

"Lets go check," Pops replied looking devious.

To Heathcliff's great amusement, Edgar was found at the bottom of the staircase leading to the station. "Heathcliff! Help me, I'm lost and alone." Edgar sobbed.

"Do you know this person?" Phatso asked with a Brooklyn accent.

"Me?" Heathcliff asked, "No, not at all. Let's get him." Edgar was left surrounded by at least five gangsters, who looked menacing.

"Wait! Heathcliff! I have information that may interest you!" Edgar begged for mercy.

"What is it, now?" Heathcliff looked a little bit intrigued as he and his buddies closed in.

"Catherine Earnshaw is alive! She is here in NYB! Or, is it NYC?"

"Do you think that's funny, cretin? Do you think bringing up the love of my life is going to change anything? Well, it's not! I loved her, and you caused her death, scoundrel!" Heathcliff took larger, quicker strides towards his victim.

"Wait, did this creep steal the love of your life? And then he killed her?" Pops looked just as angry as Heathcliff.

"Yeah, something like that. And now I'm am going to get my revenge, again." Heathcliff looked with disgust at the kneeling Edgar in the center of the circle.

"That is so…romantic." Phatso started to tear up. "Okay, let's do this thing! Go to Hell, scumbag." Then he lunged at poor Edgar; everyone followed. Just as Heathcliff was about to join the party, he looked to the Heavens to pray for his deceased love. To his amazement and shock, he found a familiar face smiling at him. In a huge picture, Catherine Earnshaw gave her carefree smile next to the words 'Earnshaw Production Studios: 2124 Wall Street.'

"See you later. Let him go," Heathcliff turned around and started to make his way up the stairs.

"Why? Where are you running off to?" Pops inquired.

"To find my love at 2124 Wall Street." Heathcliff gave a wolfish smile and ran off leaving a group of confused men behind him.

Chapter Five: Reunion

After running all night, Heathcliff found himself facing Earnshaw Productions. He unzipped his jacket, and straightened his hair, then marched through the double doors. At the front desk he was told to schedule an appointment before meeting Miss Earnshaw. Feeling impatient he snuck around the desk and made his way to a closed door at the end of the hall labeled 'Studio 1.' Seated in a cloth chair he saw the beautiful brown hair that he dreamt of.

"Catherine!" Heathcliff shouted running up to greet his lost love. The woman turned around, stopping Heathcliff in his tracks. She looked like Catherine, all right, but there was something different about her, she didn't have the same sparkle in her eyes. "Oh, sorry," Heathcliff whispered, "It appears I mistook you with Catherine Earnshaw. Can you tell me where she is?"

"Oh, yes, she's—"

"Heathcliff!? Is that you, love?" Heathcliff turned to the beautiful voice, hoping it wasn't like all of his dreams, where the owner of the voice disappeared.

"Catherine!" With that, the two lovers ran to each other and embraced in a tight hold. "Don't leave me, Catherine, not again." Heathcliff had tears rolling down his bristly cheeks.

"I'm not going anywhere now." Catherine was sobbing tears of happiness.

"What happened to you? Why are you here?" Heathcliff, loosening his grip on her shoulders, looked Catherine in her big brown eyes.

"The same reason as you," She responded with a sly smile. "I was seen by a living human."

"Who saw—"

"Lockwood. He even tried to kill me, the blithering idiot. Death's Sister came upon me and sent me here, to the '21st Century.' Since then, I have been telling my story through moving pictures called 'movies.' I don't really know if the citizens of New York believe my story or not, but they seem to like it and I am richer now than I was 200 years ago."

"Oh, I am so glad you are safe. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you." Heathcliff and Catherine smiled at each other and they left the studio, ready to conquer New York together, hand in hand.

Just minutes after the happy couple departed a distraught, and slightly bruised Edgar came dashing to the Studio. "Do you hqve an appointment?" a bored looking woman asked.

"No but— Catherine!" Edgar squealed in delight, rushing over to a brunette resembling Catherine. "Catherine, love!"

"No, actually I'm not Catherine but I'm her stunt double." The woman replied, noting how cute and polite Edgar was.

"Oh, sorry. I thought you were my love, Catherine Earnshaw." Edgar bowed his head in defeat.

"Sorry, someone else already ran off with Miss Earnshaw. But I'm free." The young woman looked at Edgar hopefully.

"Damn him! Damn that Heathcliff! He stole her! He thinks I stole her from him, you see, and now he stole her back!" Edgar broke down into tears of frustration.

"It's okay," the kind woman consoled Edgar by giving him a hug. "Come on, let's go get a coffee."

"O-okay." Edgar gave her a smile and they strolled out of the building and hailed a Taxi.

A/N: Please REVIEW!! I'd be eternally in your debt if you did, this is my first story so I need as much critiqing as possible, and I need some input on whether or not to update, so please review!! bows head repectfully


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